Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I AM VODKA MAN
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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