he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
