If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
