He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
