Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
