Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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