We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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