To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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