Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
