i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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