Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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