so explain again why im purple
no
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize