My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
