She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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