Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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