I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
