and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
wow bdsm is so cute
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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