yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
