I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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