yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize