Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize