The beer is more important than you right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just want nice things and good sex
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
