I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize