So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
