If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
