im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
