her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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