I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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