She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
is that a dick in a sweater?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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