so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize