the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
