before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
