1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
