Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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