i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
