That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
