grandma shit on top of the toilet
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
