oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
