we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize