It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize