Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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