I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
