Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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