you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will be naked everywhere
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize