I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
