Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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