I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
