Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
