Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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