should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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