Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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