the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
