How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize