it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
