none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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