can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just tell him i said nine months
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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