Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
the liver wants what the liver wants
me + whiskey = a bad person
Randomize
