I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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