Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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