just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize