if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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