windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
