I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
