He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
