Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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