: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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