Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize