Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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