i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
