New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
