4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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