Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
