the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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