i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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