I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize