So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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