Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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