On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
