i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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