so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
