He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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