About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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