Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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