ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
