Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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